I had a discussion last night with one of my friends and we were discussing how we could NEVER take back a woman who cheated on us. Hearing him talk from a very Macro perspective was very interesting as he described his pride being hurt by her actions and how he could never trust her again – but me being a very Micro person, I decided to come at it from a very specific perspective that actually made my friend even MORE upset at the concept of having someone cheat on him – and after YOU read YOU might feel the same way too.
For me, the large and obvious parts of cheating are BAD, but they don’t fully encompass the absolutely incredulous RAGE you should have for someone upon hearing that they have disrespected you and your relationship in the ULTIMATE way. Because we choose to overlook the gritty, grimy, disgusting and dismaying details that comprise the act of CHEATING, so many of us find it much easier to attempt to forgive and forget – which is BS. So Ladies & Gentlemen, let me break it down for you [Men start reading the next paragraph, Ladies fast forward down the page to where I address you]:
So fella, you decided to take back your cheating ex huh? Well allow me to let you know what REALLY went down with her and ol’ dude so you can make a more INFORMED decision…
Your girl left the house one night – a night when you couldn’t get in touch with her because everytime she heard your ringtone or saw your name pop up in her phone she sent it straight to voicemail. The woman you LOVE went to the gas station and stood around pumping gas in her car while she shifted her panties around, already wet thinking about what Joe Grind was about to lay down. She went to HIS house [whilst you were home playing Madden] and they didn’t need to have SMALL talk or beat around the bush because they BOTH knew what was going down.
He stood there in a wife-beater and some basketball shorts and she instantly was locking lips with this nigga and carassing his richard through his shorts. Her nani [the one you USE to lay sole claim to] now has random fingers invading it, but she is dripping all over them. As he strips he clothes off slowly, she KNOWS DAMN WELL what’s going on because she’s not drunk, or high, she is H*RNY – and the richard she should be getting from you she has now outsourced. Before she knows it she is on his bed spread-eagled, while he dives his tongue between her legs and has her cumm*ng and squirt*ng in ways she told YOU only YOU could make her do.
Now her lips are wrapped around HIS richard and licking his balls [the very same lips she kisses you in the mouth with] and before you know he is inside her. That nani you wined, dined, loved, cared for, and given all your heart to just to have the privilege of meeting it, has now been given to some frowsy dude who doesn’t see her as anything more than the soft, tight wet nani that belongs to some dumb-a*s dude who can’t control his woman – and he’s talking about YOU. Now he is long-stroking YOUR girl while she is bent over on he couch moaning the way she only use to moan WITH you, and he’s talking his sh*t like “whose p*ssy is this baby?” and SHE’S SAYING IT’S ALL YOURS. And he keeps thrusting HARDER and DEEPER, until he pulls out, takes the condom off and busts all over her back and a*s – the same back and a*s you use to massage until you got cramps in your hands just to relax her after a long day of work.
And she drives back home and washes up and calls you in the middle of the night like “Hey baby, you up?”
That’s the b*tch you REALLY wanna take back?
So lady, you decided to take back your cheating-a*s man huh? Well allow me to let you know what REALLY went down with him and that frowsy heffa so you can make a more INFORMED decision…
One night your man hopped in his car, drove to the drug store and decided to buy a fresh box of condoms KNOWING damn well he was about to get some nani that WASN’T yours. As he drove in the car bumping his head to some tunes he made DAMN SURE he avoided ALL of your calls and texts because he already had his “I didn’t have reception” or “I wasn’t around my phone” excuse all lined up for your a*s after he’s done digging this chick’s belly out. When he gets to her place, she is already in a robe and panties and he knows what time it is. He slips off the boxer briefs YOU bought him, throws aside the jeans YOU picked out for him and he proceeds to slip his tongue into the mouth of some h0e God only knows where she been.
Now he’s laid up on some trick’s couch, while you are at home chilling wondering what he’s up to, as this trick proceeds to take his richard into her mouth and suck him off, while she takes her off hand and strokes the length of his shaft letting her STI infected spit drip from his head onto his balls. And all he can do in his absent minded state is think about how much better her head is, how much wetter her nani is and how glad he is he decided to come over instead of spending another night arguing with your punk-a*s.
Now he has his two fingers inserted deep inside her, caressing her G-spot and making her wetness flow all over HIS HANDS – the same fingers he puts inside YOU, the same finger he puts he ring on when he’s NOT hitting his side piece. Now he’s inside of her, focused solely on the pleasure at hand and not giving a F*^K what’s going on with you, where you at or how you are even feeling, because you simply don’t matter. He keeps stroking her until she eventually says “baby, I want to feel all of you inside me” at which point he takes the condom OFF and now the reckless, insensitive, stupid-a*s bastard is running up in random nani with no shield, exposing himself to contracting multiple viruses he can’t wait to come home and share with you.
She keeps asking him how he likes it and his corny-a*s keeps telling her ‘you the best I ever had.’ Eventually he pulls out and she makes sure to dutifully swallow every ounce of him. He checks his phone as he throws his clothes back on and see’s your “Baby I miss you, where are you?” texts and casually disregards them as he bounces out her house. Soon as he’s back in the car and on the highway is when he hit’s you back with the “Sorry baby I was helping my boy move” excuse and you hit him with the “Aw baby I want you hear right now” which just makes him smirk and keep driving.
And THAT’S the dude you wanna take back?
I don’t know about y’all but when I think about cheating, I take EVERY detail into account – it’s probably the most difficult and disgusting thing you will ever do, but it will give you a perspective into your significant other you should greatly cherish: An insight into the true depths of their nasty-a*s deceit.
I dare you to try and date them again after thinking about all that.
(this is your conscience)